Anonymous said: What do you do when you're stuck living with toxic people? I can't afford to move out and I'm living with my mom, stepdad, and my three younger half siblings. My stepdad's the main provider for our house so he hasn't been buying me food, or bitches when I eat "his food", but also calls me selfish when I buy my own, and makes me feel shitty every chance he gets. He's even kicked me out a few times but my mom's made him let me come back. Any advice?
Well what I did when I was in something similar
- in one ear and out of the other
- remind myself constantly this is temporary
- immerse myself in other hobbies
- stay with friends constantly for weeks on end
- ignored all threats and just acted like no one ever said anything about anything ever
- when everyone was in a bad mood, just hid in the room and if someone confronted me, pretend everything is fine and there were no fights or arguments
People react a lot to your reactions. Like when you watch a movie and someone dies, if everyone is really sad, you get sad, if no one cares, you probably flow on that same wave length. So if everyone gets angry, and you’re just there blank and not reflecting anything negative or aggressive, people calm the fuck down and forget there was even a thing.
I’m not saying this probably won’t drive you insane, because it’s human to react, but to ‘keep the peace’ you have to pretend none of this is effecting you and eventually you will just rise above everyone elses emotions and decide what is important what isn’t.
Also going on ‘auto pilot’, blinking slowly, and nodding while someone is yelling at you helps, they tend to calm down, or if they don’t you have detached yourself from the situation so the words don’t hit as hard as they should and you don’t react to their bullshit which just makes them look like some angry asshole yelling at someone who isn’t reacting at all, which instantly makes them the villain and you the calm, level headed adult.